Plot Reworking

Given that it's Sunday and I actually have some time for this, I've been revamping my plot a bit today. Before I go into detail, however, I'll post some of my character information and original plot, so the changes have some frame in your head.

I have two main characters, Dylan and Raqi. Dylan is 18 and ran away from home when she was 14. She lived for a while with a roommate, Marla, but eventually left because she ran out of money to pay rent and Marla was a drug addict. She's been living on the street since spring, but it's now August, and she has to find somewhere to live before winter comes.

Raqi is 13, living with an alcoholic single mother after her father died when she was 8. Her mother has a different boyfriend every week and Raqi is a victim of abuse by neglect.

The two meet in a strip club where both are dancers. Raqi began with the purpose of being a dancer, and has been there longer than Dylan. Dylan, who is big, strong, and a good fighter, applied to be a bouncer, but was laughed off because she's a girl and told she would be hired as a dancer.

Dylan and Raqi slowly form a friendship, though it doesn't go very deep because neither is very trusting. Eventually Raqi gets involved with drugs, and then there is a fire in the club. Dylan is deathly afraid of fire, so when Raqi is too drugged to save herself from the blaze, Dylan watches her nearly die but can't do anything because she's paralyzed by her fear. Someone else drags Raqi from the flames, and Dylan is overcome by guilt that she couldn't do anything to help. She realizes that there must be a lot more wrong in Raqi's life than she had thought, as indeed Raqi hadn't told her much at all of her personal life, and she reaches out to get to know Raqi better and help her.

With their job gone, though, their money is limited and lives are harder, and Raqi's addiction gets accordingly worse. Dylan finally falls apart.

It was at this point in the original plot that her brother Tommy came in, who had formerly hurt Dylan and was feeling guilty for it. Then I realized that he was a bit of a deus ex machina, if a previously well-introduced one, so I changed things around a bit.

Dylan leaves town and take Raqi with her, finding Tommy on her own. They stay with him and Dylan gets a job in another club, although Raqi is much too drugged to do anything useful anymore. She and Tommy don't get along, and one night she runs away. Dylan and Tommy have a fight, and Tommy leaves. He goes and finds Raqi, rescuing her from another near-death situation, which finally wakes her up to the fact that she needs to deal with her drug habit. When they return home, however, they find Dylan nearly dead. Raqi's running away has reminded her of her own running away, and she feels she has come all this way only to utterly fail and lose all hope, so she tried to commit suicide.

Tommy and Raqi bring her to the hospital, and when she wakes up and realizes that Tommy helped Raqi, she forgives him. I'm not yet sure how the three of them work things out and Raqi starts to recover, but after Dylan is a little more stable, she decides to go home at last and find her parents.

IF, at this point, the story is long enough, there is a happy reunion and everything is wonderful (although I still have to deal with Raqi's mother, as Raqi is underage). If, however, the story is not yet 50k, then when Dylan returns to her old house, it/her family are gone and she has to go on a hunt to find them.